You're Going Trip, Stumble And Fall ........

I stumbled the other day.  All the progress I had made in the past six months started to evaporate.

Let me explain.

At this very moment I am NOT in a a committed relationship.  It is ok.  I have learned to be with someone I long neglected, myself.

I was without partner on Valentines Day but I was not alone.  I am lucky to have friends and family who care about me.  A couple of friends spoiled me for the occasion.  

This was all fine until I was looking at a flickr group.  I saw this really cool looking woman who is a fabulous dresser.  I was so taken by here personal style I went to check our here photo stream.

I decided to subscribe to her updates because I was that taken with her work.

The other day she posted her Valentines day activities.  She and her boyfriend were goofing around with a camera (probably a cell phone judging by poor quality of the pictures).  There was one picture that threw me for a loop.  Her guy looked exactly like my last love.  

No, It was not him but in just this one picture it looked exactly like him.

This made me really sad because it brought back the good memories I had with him.  In the pictures, they were cooking this particular dish together.  It was a dish that HE and I use to talk about making together.

I didn't fall apart.  I didn't cry.  Instead that whole kicked in the heart feeling came tumbling back.

I miss the fun I had with him.  I miss the laughter.  I miss the collaboration we use to have when it came to artistic projects.  

Now I am telling myself that is was never meant to be.  Its unfair and hurts like a son of a bitch....

When I least expect it, love will find me at least I hope so.